Anger as a driving force in life - it can be easier

Some people have adopted anger as the core driving force in life.

How does anger manifest in life?

At the surface, these people seem genuinely sweet and caring yet, upon closer inspection, they act very differently. If someone has anger as a driving force in life, they tend to react powerfully to perceived dangers.

What do I mean by that? I mean that anytime an anger-driven person encounters a challenge in life, they respond with an over-reaction, typically hurting or annihilating the perceived trigger, who could be another human-being or a physical object.

Why is the angry approach to life unhelpful?

Firstly, it is extremely demanding energetically. Being an anger-driven person makes life feel burdensome and a constant battle. People adopting such a life mindset are exhausted by all the battles they carry forward in life.

As a result, they move slowly in life and perceive life to be difficult, draining and more exhausting than it needs to be.

Luckily, a mindset is, well, just a mindset. At some point in life, these people decided that they are going to fight their way through life and achieved some modest success doing so. Because of this, they made this unhelpful mindset their alter-ego.

How can angry people be positively transformed and how can their burden be eased?

Whenever the fire arises in them, they must be sufficiently self-aware and mindful to be kind, be kind to themselves and tell themselves that there isn't really a valid reason to be angry in this moment and be kind to the object at which their anger was about to be directed or is actively being directed towards. Stepping back from the hateful mindset involves recognizing it is there. These people benefit from remaining vigilant and asking themselves..."Why am I upset?" and "Who am I hurting or about to hurt with my anger right now?" The truth is that, these people don't really want to be caught in these unhelpful mind states yet they arise and people feel imprisoned in them. Over time, reinforcing these states gives them power and gives the individual less power to act differently. Think about any habit one creates in life. The more times a habit is repeated, the more it is reinforced and hence it is harder to drop or alter. Some habits in life are positive and it is important to reinforce them, yet others such as the hateful mindset are toxic and it is best to gradually steer away from them, if they are present.

Luckily, with practice and perseverance, more helpful, more virtuous mind states can be reached, regardless of how low and unhelpful the starting point. Over time, the hateful mindset will arise with less intensity and an individual will choose more virtuous ways of acting with greater and greater ease.

If you tend to respond with anger to difficult life situations, try to notice anger arising and ask the above questions to yourself in that moment of anger. Does this help you to feel relief and cope with situations better?

Love,

Peter